In Memory of Andrew Widman - A true Servant Heart

I have some dear friends in Ft. Myers, Florida. Their names are Bonnie and Tommy Rickards. We met when I was in high school. Tommy became our Youth for Christ/Campus Life director, and I became the babysitter for their two small boys, David and Mark. These were some precious times for me. These 4 people became family to me, giving me all the love that I wasn't getting from home. (Hey -now that I know what it's like, I can understand what my mom and dad were going through with 4 teenagers!) I learned so much from this couple, about love, friendship, committment to Jesus.

As time went on, another little boy, Joshua came along. Then finally a girl - Susanna Ruth! By this time I had graduated from high school, and soon after Tommy and Bonnie and the kids headed for Texas so that Tommy could go to seminary. I remember visiting them when Susanna was about 3 or 4, so sweet...walking around always on her tippy toes...a tiny little fairy girl.

Fast forward many years. The little fairy girl was now a tiny, beautiful princess in her wedding gown, marrying a handsome prince named Andrew Widman. By this time I was married and had 2 kids, and it seemed amazing that this little one that I held as a baby was now a radiant bride. I was so happy for her, that she had fallen in love with a man who was good, and loved Jesus and her so much.

Although I haven't had personal contact with Susanna and Andrew, Bonnie and Tommy have been good to keep me up to date as their lives progressed. First a son, Samuel. We prayed as they sought to be missionaries in Thailand. Then little Sasha was born, and we prayed as she went through some health issues. And most recently they brought baby Sylvia into the world, and Bonnie and Tommy shared with us that Andrew had become a policeman with the Ft. Myers PD. It looked like everything was going well. Everyone healthy and happy.

Until 2am July 18, 2008. 30 year old, just a year on the force Andy responded to a domestic disturbance in downtown Ft. Myers, and was shot point blank and killed instantly. His fellow officers took down the suspect out. But that doesn't bring Andy back.

From what I know of Andy, he was a true servant. He loved the Lord and loved his family. He loved being a police officer. This was his mission field. He swore to serve and protect. He prayed with victims of violent crimes, and probably even for those he arrested. He was a unique and special man in all his ways.

My husband and I have kept up with the news, watched the funeral on the internet. How proud I am of Susanna - her grace and strength in such a crushing time, sharing a piece of her heart with us during the service and showing us just a little more about this Andy, this man we would have loved to have known better. We cried as we watched, wishing we could be there to do something - anything - to help ease the pain of our friends. There is only one pain reliever though, and his name is Jesus. Right now, I'm asking him again how this will bring him glory...why does a young, vibrant, good and loving father and husband have to die? We have another friend who lost her 37 year old husband 2 years ago, and delivered their son a week later. My heart breaks for these young women. Each of them had indeed found their soul mates in their wonderful husbands, and now they are gone. They will raise their children without these special men who were and would have been great fathers.

I love the Lord, I really do. I have no personal fear of death, I know that it is just step into eternal life. But man, I really don't understand why some things have to happen. And I do ask WHY? I think my God is big enough to handle my asking. I don't think he always answers, but I know he hears me, and all the others who ask why. And he holds us while we ask, and he sends a peace that passes all understanding.

I hope that if you've read this, you will pray for Susanna Widman, and for her children. Pray for peace, comfort and guidance. Pray that they will be able to mourn, and that they will be able to go on and to lead the lives that Andy would have wanted for them. I know Andy is just fine. He's home. The Lord says, "Precious in my eyes is the death of my servant." It's the ones who are left behind that need our prayers, our love and our support.

Hug your family. Each day is precious.

The Shack

If you have not already done so, read The Shack, by William P. Young. It is the story of a man who has gone through a great tragedy, and receives a note, maybe from God, to come to The Shack - which is where the tragedy occurred. This book will make you look at God, his love for us, and why life happens the way it does.

I loved this book. It may not be theologically perfect, but it touches some deep areas regarding our trust in God, and whether we really feel that he is good and trustworthy and in control. For me, this reaffirmed what I have known (especially in my head) and has pushed these things deeper into my heart and soul.

The more of life I experience, the more I realize that I have to trust in my loving Father God, even when the more of life I experience the more I wonder why I trust him!!! Does that make sense? Read this book and maybe it will make a little more sense to you.

There are so many layers of I AM that we have not even begun to touch. We are wrapped up in religiosity and in the corporate church structure...we forget about the simple act of relationship. Getting to know Jesus, loving him, loving Father, understanding his ways, hearing the Holy Spirit as he guides and directs us. Realizing God in trinity is with us at all times, expressing his love for us in ways we can't comprehend. And relationship with one another..loving each other should be our foremost priority, and as the Apostle John has said, if we just did that one thing...loved one another...it would be enough.

My goal, after reading this book, is to be more intentional in my relationships...with Abba, with my husband and sons and daughter in law, with my mom and siblings and other family, with my dear sweet friends. Relationship and community with one another is where the heart of Jesus can be found. I want his heart - beating and loving through me. I want the wind of the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear, and I want to be aware of what is being spoken to me. I want to be wrapped in the arms of my loving "Papa" and to know that he is especially fond of me.

Go get The Shack and read it...and pass it on to someone you love!

Shorts...a new hair cut...What?! Winter weather?

We had a great day on Saturday 4/26. Put on the shorts and headed out to a festival in Sylva called Greening up the Mountains. Then, during the last day or so, it got cold again. I think we had Dogwood Winter and maybe now it's Blackberry Winter. Whatever. I'm ready for Spring!

Today, I got my stringy hair cut. It's been a long time since I've had it short, but I like it pretty well. I may even have a few layers cut in after I play around with it for a week or so.

So those are the minor changes in my life at the moment. Time just seems to fly by! Josh has his end of year testing this Friday, so school will be coming to a close soon. We have a trip to Michigan planned for the end of May, and look forward to seeing my brother and sister in law, and my older son Joel and his wife Robin who are also coming up. The guys will have a fishing trip for walleye on Lake Erie. I guess the girls will shop!

All in all, life is good as usual. Can't wait to see what new things are coming our way!

Springtime in the mountains

I am a bad blogger. I am a bad blogger. I am a bad .... oh well, you get the point!

I've actually been pretty busy lately, making soap and candles in preparation for the first festival of the season. Yesterday we were selling our wares at the Appalachian Growers Fair, in beautiful Dillsboro, NC. This was a first time event, to raise funds for the Monteith Homestead. The day started out raining, but by the time we got set up and the fair opened, the sun was indeed shining. It was a beautiful day, and we did pretty well in sales. I've been making and selling jewelry for about 5 years now, but during the last 2 years I've been converting over to soapmaking. There are way too many jewelry folks in my neck of the woods! (Franklin is the Gem Capital!) So, this at this event, I had soap, candles and jewelry! I heard from several customers that I had the best booth there!

Soapmaking is fun, and we love using my homemade soap. It's mild and makes your skin feel good! And all the different scents are heavenly. I make my soap from scratch, starting with lye and water, and adding that to my selected oils. I use the hot process, where you cook the soap in the oven for a while. Makes a nice soap, kind of rustic looking. I have also done cold process and liked that too. The cold process lets you have more time to make swirls and such with your colors, or to do layering. Either way produces a good product. There is just nothing like a nice handmade soap!

My soap company is called Lily and the King Handmade Soap. I can hear you - "Where in the world did you get that name?" Ok - Susan (my real name) means lily, and the King is my husband - King Louis! Hey, we like it. Louie has set up a website for me. It's in the early stages, and we have LOTS to add to it, but you can check it out at www.lilyandtheking.com We took lots of soap pics yesterday, so hopefully we'll get it all updated soon!

Now I'm gonna be looking for some more fairs and festivals to sell my goodies. There are farmers markets and flea markets available as the weather gets warmer, so I've gotta get out there!

Hope to see you out enjoying our wonderful mountains!

Your Grace is Enough

I'm leading the ladies' Bible Study at our church, and we're going through Beth Moore's "A Woman's Heart - God's Dwelling Place" - a great study! This was her very first study, and it is the first she has revisited and revamped. I'm definitely enjoying it.

The study has started out by comparing the Israelites' 40 years in the desert to our lives today. There are some amazing parallels and I especially liked the comparison of manna and God's grace. You remember manna - the bread of angels that God sent each morning to those grumbling people who wanted to go back to Egypt. God's instructions were that they should collect it every morning, and on the day before the Sabbath they were to collect twice what they needed. Everyone was to collect enough for each person in their family, and just enough for that day. When they measured it out, it came to about an omer each - and no one had too little or too much, regardless of what they collected.

So how is that compared to God's grace? First, it was available, and God sent it. However, the people had to get out of their tents and collect it...otherwise, they would just sit in there and starve, while provision for them was right outside their door. That's just like God's grace. It is available to us, but we have to collect it from Him. I guess that is the reason that some people get it, and some don't. We've got to have the relationship with Him, and seek Him to acquire that grace that He so freely gives.

Now manna was a daily thing. If it was kept overnight (except on the Sabbath) it got stinky and full of maggots. (Sorry! That's what the scriptures say!) I'm not saying that grace gets stinky, but I am saying that it should be a daily thing. It is new every morning, and we are to seek it daily. It's all about our relationship with God. We've gotta stay in communication with our Father! If you're trying to get by on grace that you received a month ago....it's going to be hard. You need some fresh grace for a new day! Talk to Him and ask for what you need!

Another interesting thing was that there was enough manna for everyone, whether some needed a little or a lot. That's grace - each morning it's new, and sometimes we need a lot more of it! Have you ever watched someone go through a tragedy and wondered how they could cope? Grace. Available on an 'as need' basis. There will never be too little of it, and never too much. I don't have to fear that you will use it all up in your time of need - when I need it, more will be available for me. Unlimited, unmerited grace.

God said that the Israelites would see His glory each morning when they saw the manna. We see His glory with every drop of grace He pours out on us.

I hope you are collecting your grace today, and that in it, you see His glory.

Oh Praise Him!

I'm back!

Well, well, well! 'Bout time I got back here and posted something! I have no good excuses for why I haven't posted. So, post I will.

I think I was still in Florida the last time I posted. We had a lovely Christmas morning with my son Joel and his beautiful bride Robin. Then over to my mom's for Christmas gifts and dinner. A very nice day overall.

We left to come home to NC on the Saturday before New Years. It was great to get home. However, the house was cold, and the mice had a grand old time while we were gone - leaving my pantry full of little brown presents, and lots of surprise stashes of rice and popcorn all over the place. Fun!

We got to spend New Year's Eve at the home of our friends Mike and Peggy. Also there were their daughter Jen and baby Austin, and our friends John and Dana with their daughters Jackie and Shannon, and granddaughter Maddie. We had a fun night!

Life is pretty much back to winter normal. We did have a nice snow on New Year's Day, and the last of it just melted off our driveway yesterday. Can't wait for the next snow!

As you can see in the picture (if you compare it to some older ones) I've continued on the weigh down. I have lost 94lbs so far, with about 30 to go. My Type II Diabetes and my Sleep Apnea are gone! Yee haw! I am smaller now than I was in the 5th grade. Ok, so I was the tallest and biggest kid in my class...but it's still true! I continue to try to choose to eat healthy foods, and to get some exercise on most days. Josh and Louie are trying to improve their eating habits along with me, so it's a win-win situation.

God is good. We came back to NC with no real job prospects for Louie. Of course a job he never expected came to him, and even though he's driving 3 hours a day to and from the job, it's money in the bank! We're still trying to decide what the Lord has in store for us here. We just walk each day a step at a time, and wait for Him to show us the way. I don't know how we can feel secure in this, but somehow we do. He's held us so far, and will continue to meet our needs as we continue to rely on Him.

I'll post again before you know it, so do check back!

Loving life!

Christmas Update

Home is where the heart is....so I guess if we are with our loved ones we are home. However, if you've ever spent an extended visit in someone else's (your mother's) home, you may realize that it's still not really HOME! All that being said, you can guess that we won't be celebrating a tender NC Christmas. (Can you hear me sobbing....) Instead, we will be here in sunny Florida, enjoying being with my son and daughter in love, but trying to walk on the eggshells of my mothers's moods as we celebrate here in the home of my youth.

I'm trying to keep a good attitude....I'm trying to keep a good attitude...I'm trying........

Christmas is our favorite time of year. We love to decorate and entertain...cooking goodies and listening to our ever growing collection of Christmas CD's (just got James Taylor's new one!) and just enjoying the atmosphere that permeates the season. Unfortunately, since moving to NC in 2004, we have only been able to celebrate Christmas in our home ONE TIME!!! My goal for 2008 is to make sure we are home for Christmas!

Speaking of entertaining, our son and daughter in love had their 2nd annual Christmas Party last night. Fun was had by all! They had a nice spread (including some delicious Chicken Salad Croissant sandwiches made by yours truly - aw come on! You remember them and your mouth is watering just thinking about them!) with sandwiches, chips, candy, cookies, cupcakes, and the Chocolate Fountain with lots of fruit for dipping. Of course the kids were very happy when my brother Jay appeared with a big bag of fluffy marshmallows!!! Under the chocolate falls they went! We won't even begin to comment on the plate of chocolate covered strawberries that someone (not me!!! it was twins-actual identical twins) lost control of. I just remember hearing Duke saying to them "I hate you." as he watched them eat the strawberries. Next thing you know...chocolate on the chair, the dress, the floor.... Oh wait...I wasn't going to comment on that! Speaking of twins, ask Nancy and Robin which twins dressed exactly alike at the party! Those girls are too funny.

We had a Silly Santa gift exchange. The most sought after gifts were scratch off tickets, Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of bubbly and...drum roll please...a huge remote control that even Louie could read without his glasses. It was a hilarious time! I was the third person to choose a gift, and Louie was the last. Like any good husband, he got those scratchoff tickets back for me (I chose them first and immediately had them swiped from my grubby little hands!). They were a Poker Hold 'Em type game, and being the Poker enthusiast that I am, I thought at first that I had won $155. Once Louie and his brother John instructed me on what a "Flush" was...I flushed away $150 of my supposed winnings. But hey! I've got $5 to buy another ticket....and who knows what I could win on that one!!

The only thing missing at the party was the McGrew-Kelly clan...we've got to get our acts together. Last year they made the party and we didn't. This year we made the party and they didn't. Hmmmmmm. There is something so wrong with that!

We did make it to church today - the Church at Bradenton - otherwise known as Church of God on 43rd St. They had their adult Christmas program and it was very nice. Made Louie and me teary eyed as we wistfully remembered all the fun of past programs with Mike and Peggy. If I'd have known we'd be here this long, I would have joined their choir as a snowbird!

So, you're asking, is all my Christmas shopping finished??? What? Are you kidding? It would not be Christmas without me running around at the last minute trying to finish up! We may spend Christmas Eve night with Joel and Robin....so I guess I need to get myself in shopping gear and git er done. That way, I might actually get everything wrapped and ready so I can enjoy Christmas Eve, and get to bed before 3am.

Pray for us as we wander through this wonderful season. Know that we are praying for you.
Have yourselves a Merry Little Christmas!